She's running around with a wrench in her hand, this woman who loves me. She is installing a new dishwasher, and I am holding the flashlight. When I ask what I can do to help she says, "You can just sit there and look pretty."
Well...that is what I do best.
She gets all the hoses hooked up properly and it's time to plug it in. Then realizes it has the wrong electrical plug and she'll have to rewire it.
By this time, I'm tapping my pretty little foot because I'm bored and I would rather go out for a drink.
So I say, "Can't you find a man to do that, honey?"
I never knew someone's face could turn so red, so fast.
(This is, apparently, the wrong thing to say to a lesbian.)
What I should have added was electrical work makes me nervous
and I'd rather see a man electrocuted than her...
So now we're having a debate: was this comment an example of my internalized heterosexism? That men should do men's work and women should do women's work?
I really don't think so. I was raised by a feminist in the 70s. If I wanted to become a heart surgeon or a politician or a pilot, being a girl was not going to stop me.
Is it just going to take a little while longer to unlearn the past 35 years of gender role socialization?
Or maybe I just really wanted a drink.
What do you think?
Hey, new follower here. Love the blog by the way!
ReplyDeleteThis is something i would say to my girlfriend & she would say something like 'HEY...yeah you are probably right!'. Dont get me wrong, i think women can do anything a man can do...but i still find myself thinking these things from time-to-time. I have been known to use the phrase 'man please' at work more often than i probably should!
Oh, you just really wanted a drink. I know I can do every single thing that needs to be done, but I find "mens work" so boring, women can spend their time doing something else :D. My mother thinks the same, her husband actually believes that she doesn´t know how to set the video recorder etc, but she says, why would she bother :))
ReplyDeleteBut I can understand why GF turned all red. Your comment kinda needs more words, to not sound like you didn´t think she could do the work :)
Ohh no you d-idnt! I would say that there are defin some lesbians who would be very offended by this. My GF being one of them. You could have meant nothing by it what so ever, other than you were bored. You knew someone else could handle it so you two could go do your thing, but it wasn't taken that way. Maybe a big part of the problem with you saying it, is that you said "man". Since "men" are all you were with before her, it could very easily strike a cord. Like if she couldn't handle it, and a man could do it better or faster. Plus all that jazz that women and men are always put into certain categories. The list could go on, im sure you know.
ReplyDeleteI have had debates over the same thing with my significant other. I really do think as a female who was once with men then realizes late in the game she's meant to be with a women, theres a whole lot of things that you learn over time as far as what things you should or shouldn't say to certain types of females. Its like learing how to date all over again. It sucks.
Laughing!! I would've said the same damn thing!!
ReplyDeletecyclist.
Ha! Too funny...I would have been in favor of taking advantage of a man's free labor too but I'm the only one who does wiring at my house. My dykey gf would have been the one holding the falshlight. lol
ReplyDelete