December 17, 2010

Beating around the bush...

Sometimes this whole lesbian thing is confusing and exhausting. And complicated.

Did you know that there are categories, not only of types of lesbians (butch, boi, femme, soft butch, high nauseum), but categories of sexual roles and behavior?  Sigh.  I have so much to fucking learn.

You have what they call a top (the sexual initiator), a bottom (, receiver), a femme top, bossy bottom (very directive!), stone butch.

Ladies, heterosexuals do not do this.  We try so hard to break free from the tradional roles and labels, why would we create new ones? 

And why are we hostile towards others who don't fit into our particular category? 

I was recently in a lesbian bar in Seattle shaking my groove thing on the dance floor, and a fellow gay woman walked up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and leaned to say something in my ear.  I thought she was being flirty and flashed her my best smile as I tried to smell her.  (I am obsessed with smelling women, have I mentioned this before?  I want to put my face right in the space between her neck and her shoulder and see what she smells like.  I fantasize about this.) 

Anyway, this lady leaned in and said, "I didn't think purses were allowed in here."

Not flirty.  She was just being bitchy.  And telling me that I didn't "belong" there because I don't look gay. 

I wish I could say that I responded with a witty and biting remark.  Something like, "Well, I have to carry a else can I travel with my strap-on?" 

But honestly, I was too stunned to even reply. Who the hell did she think she was?

What pissed me off the most is that if I was at that bar with my girlfriend (who's obviously gay), that chick would have never said that to me because I would have been recognized as one of the "family."  Plus my girlfriend could kick her ass.  Heh.

As for sex, I like to say I am ambisextrous: top, bottom, sideways, upsidedown, backwards, I like it all. 

Why the hell would I limit myself?