After lunch we walked down to the beach. She took off her jacket and laid it down on the rocks so we would have something to sit on. We held hands and cuddled, and she kissed my hands and rubbed my back. I heard the waves in the background but everything else was absolutely still. Eventually, our faces turned towards each other and we kissed.
It was like the whole world stood still for a moment. This is what people write love songs about, I thought. I saw angels and heard trumpets and my heart was exploding. It was the most perfect kiss ever.
Marred only by reality....
My new crush was sleeping on a twin bed in her son's room until her ex-girlfriend moved out, but things there seemed a little weird to me. I had always heard about the never-ending lesbian breakup but I never witnessed it for myself. Until now.
She would text her ex when she was having dinner with me. (Behavior I would NEVER have tolerated from a man. If a guy texted his ex while on a date with me, I would have picked up my purse, all classy-like and walked right out.)I was starting to feel like the other woman, the rebound girl. I worried that there was still a chance they would get back together and if I was wondering, surely her ex was hoping.
Things got worse...
I saw her in class and she looked at me with tired, bloodshot eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I'm tired of crying. I was up all night," she said. "She stole my phone in the middle of the night and read all of our text messages."
"So she's got my phone number now?"
"Yes, but I don't think she will call you."
I really had to weigh my options here. How much do I want this? I could walk down the street and hold her hand, but she refused, saying she wanted to "respect" her ex.
Finally, it hit me.
I'm the third person in that crumbling relationship. I realized I had to back out, if only for the sake of my own dignity.
"If you are crying over her," I said, "Then you still have unresolved issues with that relationship. I cannot be the one to heal you.
I want you to contact me when and if your relationship is truly over, and you can be with me for real."
Now I can't breathe. Love like this just doesn't go away, right?
I'm sorry that it has been like this for you. I hope it works out.
ReplyDeleteWow! This is so powerful. It took a lot of courage to take a stand like that. That's also the best way to find out if it's really something special or just a rebound.
ReplyDeleteUrg! I've been there myself and honestly, you've done the right thing. I often felt that despite how much I might have loved the girl, I had to face facts that she could very well do the same exact thing to me. I found it very disturbing and even more so when I was the one being strung along as my ex was finding new playmates. Its not to say that its impossible, as it is and she may never do it to you but some times just thinking about it is scary enough.
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